Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery.- Andy Warhol

There's something about life that has just got me down lately. It's 4AM on Sunday morning, or Saturday night if you prefer, and I'm sitting up in my bed having just slept a total of eight hours. I can't get back to sleep because of these terrible feelings that I've got... but I can't seem to crush them.

I feel like I'm a ghost... I feel like I'm just a nondescript nobody making my way through everyday without leaving so much as a scrape in society. The promise of freedom isn't working out so well. My freedom to make decisions has left me broken hearted, and cold.

I'm hoping things will start to get better once this weekend is over. This dreadful weekend that once would have mattered to me, but is now just another cluster of days.

There's something in invisibility that makes me feel serene. Without anyone to judge you or be critical you don't have to be anything at all. Invisibility, it's the new euphoria. We're all just too impatient to find out.

I guess in the end, no one can save you from this hell you've created. You can only rely on yourself to get up and get out, it's just a matter of how long that will take.

In other news...

I'm happy that the Ning account is picking up, we have a few new members... though I feel like people are joining out of obligation. I guess that's okay. If they're interested and they join then that's a good thing. But not if they're joining to be poisonous.

Note that I'm trying not to be too gloomy.

I added a Hogwash picture into the blogs photos... though I'm not sure if it has shown up or not. Either way, I guess you can go look through the pictures to see it.

Again we don't have enough material for the Zine by the end of this week. But I'm just as guilty, I haven't been writing either. I've had a lot of opinions, just not enough drive.

So if you are one of the few who read this blog, then you should submit things to the Zine, we're not picky.

I guess in the end what I'm trying to say is a few things:

• I'm losing my creative edge and I'm feeling stomped upon.
• The lack of material for the Zine is the reason it won't be out this week.
• I'm actually thinking about things that are making me want to stop and question everything I believe.
• I'm dreading tomorrow.

That's about it. I hope this post wasn't too gloomy. But I guess being gloomy is part of being human, right? Too bad I'm no longer human.

-X.